Why Work Travel Doesn’t Have to Mean Missing Out
Real Stories and Best Practices from Dads Working to Find the Balance
The first time I had to travel after my son was born was a 10-day trip to Guatemala. I was co-leading a leadership program for 15 young adults. I remember saying goodbye to my wife and 9-month-old baby and heading to the airport. I anticipated feeling guilty, (for the uninterrupted nights of sleep I was about to get and the vacation from my mother-in-law) but I wasn’t prepared for how sad I would be.
The work I was doing was inspiring and motivating to me, but by day 5, I just wanted to be home. In fact, midway through the trip, the only thing going through my head was a countdown to getting on the plane home. Ever since, I’ve set the maximum number of consecutive work days away from home at 5.
Why is work travel hard?
For many Ambitious Dads, travel is a part of their day-to-day life, but as CEO Jesus Gerena explained, “My work trips stress everyone in our house – my wife and the kids.” Work travel is difficult for numerous reasons: from missing key moments to worrying they won’t understand why we’re away so much — or worse, that we’re 'choosing' work over them.
COO Mike Allen put it bluntly: “My biggest fear is that I’m doing all this work for my children but they’ll feel like I wasn’t there for them.”
For some families, both parents travel, which can compound the challenges of maintaining balance and connection at home.
Travel best practices
There were tons of unique best practices the Ambitious Dads I interviewed shared about managing their and its effects on their families. Here are 5 that stood out:
The Travel Calendar. As one Ambitious Dad put it, “Our kids don’t always know why, when, or what I’m leaving for, and that uncertainty makes them anxious. So we fill out a 3-month calendar together every quarter that includes not just my trips but what I’ll be doing on them. Now they know the plans in advance, and it has had a positive impact.”
The Emergency Parachute. Frank Bafaro, a McKinsey executive, explained the fail-safe he deploys with his boys: “I have a commitment with my boys about what they need from me. If they need me to drop a trip to be with them, I will do it. My son has pulled that cord twice. Him knowing he can do that with me is special.”
The Family Work Trip. In September, I brought my 7-year-old with me to Los Angeles for work. He joined me at lunch with my clients, and I shared all my workshop preparation with him. I had a family member in LA babysit him while I ran a strategy session, and I felt deeply connected to him throughout the experience.
Virtual Goodnights: Some dads shared the importance of maintaining a bedtime routine, even while away. Video calls at bedtime—whether to read a story, sing a song, or just say “goodnight”—help maintain a sense of normalcy for the kids.
The Connection Letter: Another Ambitious Dad leaves behind a thoughtful letter for his young kids to keep while he’s gone. “The first time I left my 6-year-old a letter, he immediately drew a card for me in return. Two years later, it’s still in my laptop bag, and I hand him a new one before every trip.”
Do we have to travel this much?
Many Ambitious Dads described how both COVID and their career experiences flipped their assumptions about necessary work trips on their heads.
“I believed that if I said no to specific situations at work to be there with my kids, I would be penalized. This was not true,” one executive dad explained. “Ignoring travel wasn’t going to change my trajectory, and it would have been better to be with my kids.”
For others, the pandemic reframed how they approach travel altogether. Explained a CEO dad, “I have to weigh the strain of travel on the family. Sometimes I’ll push back and ask for meetings to be virtual. Other times I’ll ask myself, ‘Am I the only person that can do this?’”
Another dad, Vikenti Kumanikin, reflected on self-image played a role. “It’s about letting go of our egos. You see yourself as super important, but you are not. Am I there because it feels nice to be one of the senior people in the room, or do I really need to be there?”
It’s about connection
Travel will always be part of many Ambitious Dads’ lives, but it doesn’t have to feel like a constant tug-of-war between work and family. The key is being intentional about how and why we travel, and finding ways to keep our kids connected even when we’re away.
The truth is, the impact of travel isn’t about how often we leave—it’s about what our kids feel when we’re home and when we’re gone. By communicating openly, involving them in our plans, and finding small ways to stay present, we can show them that they’ll always be our priority, even when faraway work trips call.