My 6-year-old son has a ton of temper tantrums at home. Not necessarily screaming or hitting. More often, he uses this angry tone of voice when he is frustrated. A year ago it hit me (not him), but rather his behavior. It was mine.
When you see your child struggling, looking at yourself first will usually lead to something worthwhile -even if it is only recognizing your role or your mistake. Furthermore, not only is it never too late to apologize and explain how you would behave differently, but children are the best people in the world at accepting apologies. And seeing one of the people they love most modeling this behavior is a wonderful way to reinforce the practice.
Looking at ourselves first is such a thoughtful tactic. And yes, repairing (apologizing) is so easily learned by our kiddos. And it’s my fallback when I get dysregulated!
thanks Jeff for writing about this. I was deeply frustrated too, and it is against myself, not my two little kids. Spending time at home with them while working from home forces me to see the sides of me that I didn't know before. I am shocked and tired. I know I could've responded a lot better in many occasions. And it troubles me on why I haven't improved as a dad. It might be a journey that all dad needs to go through. The tunnel is long and narrow. Or we don't have to see parenting toddlers as a dark chores that we can't get away from, but the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us to feel what life is all about. May we all find our way out and be more wise that we once were.
When you see your child struggling, looking at yourself first will usually lead to something worthwhile -even if it is only recognizing your role or your mistake. Furthermore, not only is it never too late to apologize and explain how you would behave differently, but children are the best people in the world at accepting apologies. And seeing one of the people they love most modeling this behavior is a wonderful way to reinforce the practice.
Looking at ourselves first is such a thoughtful tactic. And yes, repairing (apologizing) is so easily learned by our kiddos. And it’s my fallback when I get dysregulated!
thanks Jeff for writing about this. I was deeply frustrated too, and it is against myself, not my two little kids. Spending time at home with them while working from home forces me to see the sides of me that I didn't know before. I am shocked and tired. I know I could've responded a lot better in many occasions. And it troubles me on why I haven't improved as a dad. It might be a journey that all dad needs to go through. The tunnel is long and narrow. Or we don't have to see parenting toddlers as a dark chores that we can't get away from, but the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us to feel what life is all about. May we all find our way out and be more wise that we once were.